I just had to write this down. If you're reading this,
and you want an explicit description of how to give a blowjob,
not just an adequate one, but the kind that will leave us men
dazed, loving, and grateful, proceed.

Here's what you really need in a good blowjob. When there's a women's
magazine laying around, and I surrepticiously read the "how to get
him really hot" or "What guys say about sex" article, I don't know where
they find the guys that supposedly are telling their stories, or
why they're saying what they do. Honestly, I suspect that, rather
than asking guys what they think, they ask other women
what they think men should say. It's less work, and
probably sells magazines better than the truth.

Anyway, here's what the truth is, in detail, from one guy.
You don't necessarily need to do all these things, let alone all
the time -- I appreciate variety, and blowjobs are
no exception. Sometimes a tender, slow, licking blowjob is just
the thing ; other times, a loud, enthusiastic, sword-swallower blowjob is
satisfying.

The one constant criteria for me is where the semen ends up. Remember, men aren't
satisfied unless they cum, and we're not capable of those 3-orgasms-in
3-minutes multiples that you have -- we get one, and that's it for
at least a half hour, and generally longer. Thus, we are focused
on that orgasm. Let me be clear -- the woman should take the cum. It
shouldn't end up on me, the pillow, get spat out, or immediately be wiped up
like a sneeze. We were focused on giving it to you. Imagine going to
a meeting, giving your business card to somebody, and they give it back, or
obviously leave it behind. Or, worse yet, they pick it up with a tissue and put it in the trash.
THAT'S the feeling we get when you don't end up with the cum.
Honestly, that's how we feel. We're not afraid to get cum on us
because it will turn us gay, we're not worried about the pillow,
and we're not demeaning you by the gesture of cumming on you.
We have it programmed into our head to give it to YOU.
OK, where do you want it? There are three classic choices:
in your mouth, on your face, or on your breasts. All three
are great. I'm sure it could go elsewhere -- in
your hair, on your belly, on your feet, into your hands -- whatever
turns you and he on.

For those of you who consistently "don't swallow", yes, that does reduce the
quality, but if you take it on your face or breasts that's still
pretty good. What to do with our cum? Show some appreciation...rubbing it
into your breasts, or letting us do it, is a real turn on. If you don't mind
us cumming in your mouth, but you don't
want to swallow, don't just spit it out somewhere-- let it run down your chin
or onto your breasts. There is NOTHING sexier than YOU with my cum all over you.
In fact, even if you swallow, I love the look of a woman with a little
still on her face, or the sight of that little white puddle on your tongue.
Going to a little trouble to taste it is a HUGE turn on and validation -- licking it off your
fingers REALLY lets a guy know you're in to him. After I'd dated one
woman for a couple months, a make out session turned into a hand job --
or so I thought. As I was a few seconds away from ejaculating, she
quickly bent down and took the load in her mouth and swallowed it.
That was such an unexpected surpise, and really memorable.


The general technique? It all feels good. Slurping on the head and
running your tongue around it. Licking the back of the shaft. Licking
the front of the shaft, especially the underside of the head.
Alternating deeper sucking, with the head just in your mouth so you
can focus on it with the end of your tongue, is very nice.

OK, that's what I hope for from every blowjob -- now let me talk about
the lots of variations on the blow job, and how variety is good.
Just be sensitive to what parts you like and are good at, and vary them.
Here is some of those variations, in no particular
order. Take what you like, when you feel like it.



I think a great blowjob is a noisy one: slurping noises, appreciative
sounds, maybe humming, and the occasional dirty talk. Remember I told
you he wants to give you his cum? Inviting him is lovely manners and
a huge turn on. There is nothing that sounds as good as you telling
me you can't wait to taste my cum, or asking me to cum on your face.
Of course a "please" isn't required, but it sounds really nice. If you're
having a don't-want-to-swallow day, look up and say in a low sultry
voice like "I want you to cum all over my tits" (or face) and I
guarantee the guy won't mind.

You really are SUCKING cock. A nice suction is wonderful.

I don't think teeth are a fun part of a blowjob. Seriously. I think
the sort of voracious, rough blowjob looks good in porn, but you can
be too rough.

I love occasional eye contact during a blow job. There is something
so wonderful about looking into each other's eyes during any kind of
sex, and blow jobs are included in that.

Hands are great during blowjobs, but use it to augment the mouth, not
replace it. Hands are great as additional stimulation, and sometimes
to mix up a hand job and a blow job as we near orgasm (particularly if
you want us to cum on your face or breasts). But too much of it is
like the high ***** cafeteria mixing soy in with your hamburger. Not
nice.


I don't mind the taste of my own cum -- actually I
enjoy kissing you when you haven't swallowed yet and your mouth is still
full --it's such an erotic form of sharing the experience. I'm pretty
sure I'm in the minority of guys to the extent I like. I will say guys that just
won't kiss you for a lengthy period of time after you blow them, as if you were a dog that
showed up at the front door carrying something dead in your mouth, are
squeamish weenies.
On a closely related topic, if I'm not squeamish about tasting my own
juices, you shouldn't be either. Switching back and forth between oral
and fucking really makes things interesting, and hesitation and tidying up
doesn't work here. I enjoy switching back to a 69 after orgasm and
cleaning each other up...again, it's surely a minority opinion.

Yes, we REALLY love it when you can take all of our cock in your
mouth, all the way down to the base. I have had a woman lick my balls
while my shaft was completely in her mouth, and that really melted me.
Honestly, I don't how some of you can manage not gagging with
something poking the back of your throat like that, but believe me, I
REALLY REALLY appreciate the effort. And the feel of the silky roof of your mouth,
the suggestion of your mouth narrowing toward your throat; oh, my, God.

Your breasts are a nice addition to your mouth. Rub your nipples
against the head of my cock. If you're big enough to have cleavage,
push it together and let us fuck your boobs while you lick at the head at the
top of the stroke (a neutral-tasting or flavored water-based lube is
nice at this point.)

Humming is fun once in a while. It does feel good.

Don't forget the rest of me. Spend some tongue-time on our balls, our
navel, our nipples, our throat. If you're into rimming, use your
tongue on our ass (I LOVE this one). If we don't get ticklish, even
spots like the inside of our elbows or the backs of our knees can be
great. Focus on what you're doing --
although I love the feeling of a firm grip on my shaft as you tongue
the rest of me. Maybe once in awhile, make us come with your hand
while your mouth is on some alternate spot. A few times I've cum while
being rimmed...this is particularly nice if I'm sitting on your face
and cumming on your tits. Speaking of anal, working a finger into my ass during a
blowjob really blows my mind. But make sure to use a bit of lube, or
at least take your time working it in. I'm sure some guys don't like
this, but it really gets me off.

Sometimes it's fun when a woman uses foreplay in other areas
to get me hard as a rock before she ever really touches it.
That's great. Maybe occasionally brush your hair over it on
your way to somewhere else. And blowing (I mean with your breath)
is a fun tease, too.

The opposite is also great: surprise me with a blowjob and let me
get hard in your mouth. If you can't manage deep throat, this is
nice because you can take it all the way down to the base,
at least until it gets fully hard.

Occasions? There are very few occasions on which a man doesn't like a
blowjob. Maybe during family funerals, or when we have the flu, but
that's about it. Try adding some extras in to your usual romance schedule
-- maybe one the second he comes home in the evening, right in the middle
of the kitchen, or in the car like teenagers, or in a fairly empty movie theatre. Try
letting him pick porn to watch while you suck him. (Yes, I wouldn't
like it either if that became standard during sex, but it's a fun
change once in awhile. What guy hasn't thought, while watching porn,
"I wish I was getting head right now.") Oh, and in the shower or
bath.

Positions? I don't really have one I don't like, although I think I'd
have trouble cumming during something that's too acrobatic. Mix them
up. I think the 'classic' is standing with you kneeling. It's
also nice just laying on my back in bed, or during a 69, or above you
in bed. Having you lay on the bed and lean your head back to take it
in your mouth while we're standing next to the bed is a nice
variation. Sitting on a couch with you between our legs is nice. Or
kneeling with you on all fours.

Other variations? What about being tied up? It's an incredible
feeling of trust and surrender when one of us is tied up. I
particularly like getting head while my hands are tied up (like, over
my head to a shower rod or a coat hook or something.) And having you
trust me enough to give me the ultimate"hands free" is very erotic too.

I like heat and cold as a fun variation. Taking a mouthful of
hot tea, then my cock in your mouth, is just incredible.
Or the occasional ice cube (although it's easy to overdo
the ice cubes.) Food (chocolate sauce, cling peaches, whipped cream,
strawberries) are fun now and then -- and remember, when it's YOUR
turn, the food works even better.


Well, that's general principles, and a lot of options I like,
some regularly, some once in a great while.
Remember to have fun, be sensitive to each other's needs, and
have fun.

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Disclaimers: Yes, I know that a good relationship is the most important thing in sex.
Yes, I respect women. Yes, I am eager and willing to reciprocate by going down on you.
But those topics weren't what I felt like writing about today.

If you have a response, more suggestions, commentary, or a story, I'd
love to read it. If you get good ideas from this, and they work for you, I'd love to hear it.